Show don’t tell.
This week I wanted to focus on storytelling. Starting on this journey, I didn’t know how to tell a story, actually that’s not true, I thought all I had to was tell my story especially given it is a memoir. Turns out I was wrong and I have since learned that whether its fiction or non-fiction, the only way to really emotionally connect with readers is to show not tell, so they can experience the story alongside you. I’m head deep in the redrafting stage and most of my time is being spent stripping my manuscript of the telling and dialling up the showing
HOW TO ‘SHOW’ THE SCENES:
Before showing your story, you should break down your manuscript scene-by-scene through its narrative arc, working out what parts of your story belong in it and what doesn’t, because not all of it should be in it. This is a natural process of writing but it can also be a long process and one you may only get to by your second or third draft. If you have written your book proposal first, this is helpful because you will have already done this in the chapter outlines. While the purpose of writing chapter outlines is to tell potential agents what happens in each chapter breaking it down into the important scenes, the opposite is true of the manuscript. Once you are happy with the draft, this is where you can start crafting and refining your writing to show not tell and create that connection with your reader.
1. Showing emotions.
Tell: As she told me what happened, I started to feel overwhelmed and light-headed.
Show: As she told me what happened, it felt like my heart had stopped. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, suddenly feeling light-headed, I held onto the back of the chair in front of me, my palms sweaty, to steady myself.
2. Use the five senses.
Think about how each scene might look, taste, smell, sound or feel.
Sight
Tell: Awake, I sat up in bed which was next to the open window feeling cold and shut it.
Show: Awake, adjusting my eyes to the strands of golden morning light coming through the sash window, I sat up in bed with the magnolia paint peeling off the frames catching my eye. Feeling cold I shifted my body round to shut the window which I’d opened during the night.
Touch
Tell: As Saffie, my dog lay down next to me on the armchair, I reached across to stroke her absentmindedly.
Show: As Saffie squeezed her way into the tiny space left on the armchair, I felt her little body pressed up against my leg. Reaching over to stroke her absentmindedly, I ran my fingers through her long shaggy hair, feeling the heat and the rise and fall of her body as she breathed.
Taste
Tell: I was so hungry, I devoured the plate of chips within minutes
Show: I was so hungry, I didn’t have time to fully appreciate the perfect crunch of the chips and the light fluffy insides with just the right amount of salt and vinegar, devouring the plate within minutes.
Smell
Tell: When I opened the door, I smelt something horrible.
Show: As I opened the door, a horrible stench filled my nostrils, the smell of decay like rotten meat.
Sound
Tell: I could hear my baby in the next room which bought a smile to my face.
Show: As my baby lay awake in the next room singing to herself, her cute gurgling cooey sounds bought a smile to my face.
3. Actions and body language.
Bring your characters to life by describing them in full technicolour, noting their body language, expressions they use, how they move and gesticulate.
Tell: As she walked across the road, she looked awkward and unsure of herself
Show: As she walked across the road, with her shoulders hunched over, arms crossed in front of her, she kept her eyes down as if concentrating hard on each step so as to avoid eye contact with anyone, wanting only to be invisible.
I would highly recommend reading Will Storr’s The Science of Storytelling and The Emotional Craft of Fiction by Donald Maass, which offer up fascinating and insightful ways of writing a story that is going to hit your readers right where you want it to…….in their hearts.
Enjoy the journey, I’d love to know how you are getting on.
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