If you are reading this, you might be a first-time writer like me starting from ground zero or have work that is already published but for you writing a book is a whole other story literally. For my first post I want to talk about the hot topic of knowing the why because from here everything starts. Knowing the why is especially important if you are going through a period of struggle, procrastination, feeling overwhelmed, or stopped in your tracks by the fear of failure.

Since I started writing in lockdown I have experienced the whole gamut of these emotions but the thing that has kept me going is knowing why I started writing my book in the first place. I came to writing late at 46 and the memoir I’m working on is the first thing I’ve ever written and completed, the first draft that is. This alone might have been enough to stop me from finishing but I listened to the quiet inner voice of my intuition which told me to just keep writing. At the beginning of this journey, I had no ambitions to publish it but as I wrote, I poured everything out onto the pages, no holds barred, the beautiful bits alongside the dark, messy, shameful parts. My writing coming from a place within me that I didn’t even know existed. As I worked on it consistently over two years, edited it five times for no other reason that I loved the process, I started to think that maybe this story, my story, might be of help to others. That I would see if I could get it published.

TRUST

Against the background of complete fear, the ‘what the hell am I doing?’ thoughts spinning incessantly around my head and the ‘who do I think I am?’ sirens going off in all directions, I decided to take a leap. To trust myself and my journey and to see what happens. So this summer, I shared snippets of my work with friends which was frankly terrifying, and I am now working with The Book Edit, to make my manuscript the best it can be, so I can start approaching agents. The Book Edit is run by the wonderful Emily Pedder and her team of editors, who are all writers too. For a first-time writer who is just finding my way, Emily has patiently answered all my questions through-out, talking me through the process and has been nothing but encouraging.

My manuscript and proposal, which left my world six weeks ago is with the editor, and in a few days time I will get it back with no doubt, thousands of red scribbles all over it, with feedback telling me what I need to do to make my memoir better. Again  the self-doubt, the fear of being found out as an imposter, a wanna-be, are quietly whispering to me but these thoughts are quieter than they were before, when I faced my fears and let other people in to this process. Knowing the why means I no longer feel as held hostage by my fear. I still feel it but I can keep going because I’m really proud of my work, the hours I have dedicated to it, for no other reason that I have loved it.

If you are struggling at any point just remember to go back to the beginning. Of the story you wanted to tell and why it’s so important for you to tell it. Good luck.

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